So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
