wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
