Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
