3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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