can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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