honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize