dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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