and you said cock pushups were impossible
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
