you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize