zippers are such a cool invention
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
