We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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