so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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