i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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