I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
