Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
