My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
