I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
