bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
