you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
