3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
