laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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