I bet he comes in French.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
