I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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