ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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