I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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