I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
