We're like a lot better than the average bears
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
