Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
