Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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