I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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