i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have fence marks all over my body
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize