if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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