ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
