I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
