my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
