Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
