I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
