im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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