wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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