Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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