Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i would punch a child for taco bell
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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