Your tits are I can't wait for
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
