idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
