is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
