And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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