I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
