Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
