But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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