life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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