3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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