Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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