Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
