so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
