I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
