first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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