I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I supernannyed him into submission
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
