i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
