i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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