Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
