i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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