Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
