For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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