You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
