Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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