You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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