shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
