No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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