What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think weed is turning my hair brown
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Congratulations! We have a period
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