just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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